Pedro

So, I must introduce Pedro, a new "member" of our team. We purchased him
from some friends-of-friends living in Mbale who are packing up for
retirement to return to the UK. We don't often purchase team members and
this is NOT a foray into indentured servitude. And, though Pedro's
"services" will be offered to the local community for a price, we're also
NOT starting micro-finance programs in prostitution. Pedro is a goat - a
male goat - a male goat almost as large as a Shetland pony - and he's the
only goat around here that, when the Karamojong men see him, their eyes
don't light up with hunger for a roast but with an entirely different sort
of "desire". The Karamojong typically care less for the quality of their
animals than for their number (thus, their penchant for raiding and not for
breeding). But Pedro REALLY brings out the "hope" and "plan for progress"
genes mostly laying dormant in them. Though we'll charge for his services to
the general community, he is intended to ... aaaaaahhhh ... (how do you say
it ...) "assist" the female goats that KACHEP distributed to vulnerable
women in the community.
   As goats go, and they almost always go WAAAAAY EVIL, Pedro is a prince
among them, and not solely for his stature. He's pretty placid and even
tempered, almost like a pet (he really likes to be scratched on the sides of
his neck and just between his very large horns, though the rat fink did try
to butt me). If left alone, he'll just stand, or sit, quietly where tied and
chew (and drop amazingly stinky ... aaaahh ... droppings - we moved out of
there Just In Time!). This is contrary to most goats (of standard size and
evil nature) who constantly seek ways to annoy and make a LOT of noise. As
I've been heard to say many times, goats are ... what? EVIL (and that's why
God made them tasty! so, eat all you can, He'll just make more!)!
Apparently, Pedro's natural evilness has been curtailed or diverted somehow
(did I mention that the rascal tried to butt me while I was scratching
behind his ears?! *#$@% goat); so, I suspect he won't be as tasty when his
life of "service" comes to its natural end. Updates will be posted when
appropriate.
   So, there you have it. A project to improve (drastically!) the goat
breeding stock in southern Karamoja. And I don't want to hear any snide
comments about "goat prostitution" or "goat pimp" or "goats of the evening"
(apparently, he's available both morning and evening), or "corrupting the
character of a goat" (remember, 1: goats are evil; 2: Pedro is a goat; 3:
therefore, he ain't no victim); and all movie references should be kept to a
minimum ("Pretty Goat" and "The Story of gOat" stretch the bounds of both
propriety, even for goats, and credulity).